haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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