Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
