woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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