remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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