I think i peed on brittanys purse
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
