We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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