its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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