Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.