do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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