Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
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I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
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Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I FOUND THE LEGS
I just gargled with NyQuil
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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