Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
