well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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