I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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