I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
