And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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