idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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