sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
