I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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