Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
