Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
50% drunk capacity currently
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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