She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Randomize
