She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
