She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
