I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
