I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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