All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
one might say we're banned from that church
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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