Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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