I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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