is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
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