Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Randomize
