I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
