Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize
