So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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