I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
