That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
My breasts were aching with rage.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
