he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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