He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize