oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
This show inspires me to have sex in space
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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