Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize