so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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