I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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