This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
