In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
thus making me awesome and them whores
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
