Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I'm really busy with my period
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