I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
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My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
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I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!