do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
i just google imaged poop.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.