Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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