I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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