Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
