it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I cut my penus on the lid.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
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I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
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they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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