how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
he shaved USA in his pubs
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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