naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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