i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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