I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
