she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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