Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
i out mim tonsoeep
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