Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize