Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
