I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
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