someone threw a dead crab at me
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
