Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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