If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
