you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
