it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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