I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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