I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
