Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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