You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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